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“If you are not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you’ve launched too late.” —Reid Hoffman, LinkedIn co-founder

Independent escorting is entrepreneurship. You are your boss, your sole employee, your product, your marketing, your advertising, and your own success and failure.

Chances are more than likely that in any business, you’re going to fail more than you’re going to succeed. From my personal experience, it takes 99 fails to get even 1 success. 

If you don’t look back on your crap-quality cell phone pictures from your first advertisement and cringe, then you have a long way to go before you can honestly say you’ve gotten somewhere (this is meant to be said in a slightly joking manner, people, so don’t take this 100% seriously; but take it 90% seriously for goodness sake). 

While doing some work for my day job today, I came across some entrepreneurship quotes that I’m printing off and storing in my work binder to keep me motivated. However, I couldn’t help but think of my escorting when I came across the quote mentioned above. It made me laugh, but it also made me horribly embarrassed. Out there are actual duplications of my very first escorting advertisement and up to this day, when I google my escorting name and come across it, I cringe. They’re terrible photographs, cheesy writing, and I overall was so clueless as to what I was even doing. But hey, I learned some things along the way! My second advertisement, I had a bit more professional photos. Not “professional”, but close enough. (Yes, close enough….) Lol. 

I’ve also found my path with who I want to be as an independent provider. No more taking the guided path, for I carved one for myself. This is what every girl entering this business should keep in mind. Improve yourself the way that YOU want to do it. Stop following the blind herd of the rest of the escorting community. Improve yourself and just do what feels right. And if you don’t look back on your beginning and cringe, well, guess what, you haven’t gotten anywhere.

Things EVERY girl stepping into escorting should know:

You get out what you put in

  • If you put in nothing, you get nothing. Want success? It’s something you must work for. If you want to make money, then invest money. Don’t think you’ll end up at courtesan status without working your tail off. If you want people to believe you’re high-end, then at least look the part.  Don’t think that your cell phone shots are going to get you by. Invest in a photographer to build up an escorting portfolio, get yourself a website, and advertise where the other high-end girls in your area do.

STOP worrying about every other girl around you

  • Knock it off with reading other girls’ reviews. Sure, they might give you the slightest insight as to how they maintain their business so well, but more than likely you’re just going to end up doubting yourself. “I’ll never get to be as good as her”, “No client is going to review me so highly”, and etc, etc… 
  • And just because she’s getting booked for the entire weekend and you’re barely even getting contacted, does not mean she’s a better escort than you.  It simply means: she’s getting more bookings. Who cares? As long as you’re not counting pennies out of your wallet to pay for a can of soup, then you shouldn’t be so concerned about another’s business.

Never duplicate

  • Don’t think you’re sly by copying another escort’s writing word for word. Not only is it unfair to the escort who put in the work for that material, it’s completely phony to steal from another provider. In this business, the only people you have to help you out are your fellow providers! Treat them with respect and don’t “borrow” unless you’ve asked for permission and they’ve given you their OK.

Don’t trust everything a hobbyist tells you

  • OK, so I’m going to make another entirely different post on hobbyists, because this conversation came up between a few providers and me just this past week. Hobbyists are either the greatest gift from heaven, or they’re out to ruin your business. The worst part about this? It’s impossible to figure out which one it is without taking a risk. Hobbyists tend to uphold a god-like mentality once they’ve achieved “hobbyist” status. There is one in particular that EVERY escort who has been in the business for some time knows about. I’ve avoided him with everything in me. Everything. He’s a VIP reviewer on The Erotic Review and despite him writing so many positive reviews for girls across the country, he is someone who could easily (and in my opinion, has great potential to) manipulate escorts by using his status and power. Again, this is something I’m going to branch off on later.

And….

Don’t trust everything an escort tells you

  • (Ironic, right?) Point is, is that time and time again, I see girls even on Tumblr who post misleading information to others. Why? Hmmm… Let’s take a wild guess, children. Would it happen to be…. Jealousy? Oh – yes! Yes, that’s it! Believe it or not, escorts will tell you anything to try to keep you away from business. I’ve seen girls who try to stop others from working (i.e. spreading lies about law enforcement being hot). Yes, there have been busts. There will ALWAYS be busts. As long as prostitution is illegal, law enforcement will be on the hunt to try to arrest escorts who they feel are engaging in it. This is not news to me, and it shouldn’t be for any other escorts. You should always be leery of LE. Just don’t let it impact your business, for god’s sake.

Learn to love your jealousy

  • This has GOT to be the hardest point on this list. You’re going to see beautiful providers in your area. You’re going to see girls making more bank than you. You’re going to see better websites than what you invested in. You’re going to see 10/10 reviews on girls when you’re stuck at an 8/10.
  • Get
  • Over
  • It
  • .
  • Stop turning to hate every time you see them succeed. Congratulate them! Feel happy for them, dammit! Why turn to hate? What does that do for your business? You want to know what it makes you do…? It makes you go to your damn bed, cry, and feel sorry for yourself. But what in the hell does that possibly help? Nothing! So stop! If it makes you so jealous, stop looking at them. Just. Do. YOU. Even I get jealous! But I don’t take it negatively. I take it positively. I respect the girls out there who do what I can’t, and get what I can’t. Jealousy is a good thing whether you want to admit it or not. It shows you motivation – it motivates you to do what they do.  So stop hating that girl next to you, put a fucking smile on your face, tell her to keep going and getting it, and go back to focusing on yourself so that you, too, can be up there with her. Who knows, this girl might even end up being your future partner-in-crime.

Only experience can tell you everything you need to know

  • Sure, writing out this post and the information I provide on my blogs can help give you the basics, but the ONLY thing that’s truly going to make you a good provider is trial and error. It takes time and experience. Call me a catty bitch, but I laugh whenever I see girls who have only been escorting for a month give advice to others. And you know what? I’m sure that experienced escorts who have been doing this for 10+ years would easily laugh at ME for the advice I give. The reason for this being is that even with nearly two years of experience in this business, I still feel like there’s just so much for me to learn. The only way you’re really going to know and understand this underground world of sex work, is by living in it.
  • I know this point doesn’t make much sense, but I really have no idea how else to word this.

Treat others the way you’d like to be treated

  • Yes, go ahead and laugh at this. Recently I had a DC provider email me, laughing about how she messaged a girl for references, the girl never responded, and then all of a sudden this girl emails her back asking if she’d like to do a duo with that same exact client! And what do you guys think she did? Well, ignored her. The same way that other escort ignored her reference request.  I’ve reached out to fellow providers all across the world, and one thing I always keep in mind is that it’s important for me to be as polite and genuine to them as I’d like them to be to me. Some have that “I’m too good for those below me” mentality, and you know what? Just ignore them in return. But rarely has this happened, for the most genuine (and top) providers understand that one of the key factors in this business is their personality. For this, they have always responded as eagerly to me as I did to them.

Last, but not least, stay true to yourself

  • This is a dog-eat-dog business. Girls always think they can handle escorting, and through my blog, I’ve seen them come and go. I’ve had girls message me in tears after a horrible incidents occurred, I’ve seen friends suddenly realize that the lifestyle just isn’t for them and suddenly become depressed and withdraw, and I’ve seen girls land themselves in terrible situations that show that they’re just not ready for this work. I don’t care WHO you think you are, you’re bound to deal with shitty clients. I’ve been degraded, told I’m not worth shit, told I’m not pretty enough, and you name it – I’ve heard it. On the other hand, for every man who has told me such lies, I’ve found one hundred more who practically worship the ground I walk on. Through escorting, I’ve realized my flaws, learned my strength, and found the love for myself I never knew I had. I’ve been through childhood sexual abuse as a kid, lost my best friend to suicide, lost a few more to drugs, battled with eating disorders, grew up in one of the most dangerous areas in the United States, and because of it, I’ve always felt like I’ve been made of steel. Even that wasn’t enough to prepare me for the challenges I’ve faced as a provider. By stepping into escorting, you’re stepping into one of the most intricate industries in this world. Law enforcement isn’t here to protect you, they’re not your friends, and they couldn’t care less what happens to you. You end up raped? They’ll tell you that it was your fault. You end up killed (just like the Texan escort a few months ago)? Well, you were just a piece of property. Also, society is going to shame you left and right.
  • The only advice I can give you is just to be who you are, and don’t let other’s opinions of you get inside your head. 

- Escorting Safety

xkokilax:

caspergutman:

sugarcomplex:

escortingsafety:

When every girl finally makes the decision to become an escort, one of the very first things she must put into consideration is whether she wants to work independently (aka “indie”) or begin with an agency. 

I have often been asked what’s my take on this. Personally, I feel like independent is the safest and most beneficial route to go; unless the said girl is completely clueless as to how to properly screen and maintain her safety.

Independent:

  • This is when an escort works entirely on her own, with the exception of hiring a personal assistant and/or booker. This means…
  1. Obtaining own photographs
  2. Paying for own advertisements
  3. Setting up and managing own website
  4. Reading emails from clients
  5. Screening clients
  6. Arranging bookings

Agency:

  • Just as most jobs entail being an employee for a company, as an escort working through an agency, you are their employee and they are your boss. You work the hours they provide you and take a percentage of your cut. 
  1. Agency covers expense of photographs
  2. Agency pays for advertisements
  3. Agency generally provides you a “page” or “profile” on their personal website
  4. Manages all of your bookings, which includes: reading emails, screening, and establishing dates.

For most, it seems as though an agency is a godsend. To me, that couldn’t be any further from the truth… Agencies are tricky. More often than not, pimps pose as agencies. Even if they are reputable, there can be instances where a screening isn’t thorough (or, sometimes no screening at all!), which can easily land you in the hands of a dangerous client, or even law enforcement. I’ve heard of agencies abusing their girls, manipulating them to avoid girls going indie (money loss on their ends), and abusing their power. 

All it takes is ONE girl to slip up to an undercover police officer and admit to prostitution, and that right there can immediately shut the entire agency down. As we’ve all witness with Aphrodite Companions (see here: http://www.cnbc.com/id/100935558) even the most reputable agencies can be shut down. It is rumored that it was one of the agency’s former workers that tipped off law enforcement after having been robbed by owners Melissa and Vincent Lombardo. 

Even Aphrodite Companions fooled me. They had a reputable website, an active Twitter account, were well-reviewed over the years, and promised their girls good money. So keep in mind that if even an agency as high up was capable of being busted, then any agency is at risk.

To top it off, keep in mind that escorting agencies are allowed to take as much as up to 40% of your earnings. That means, if your hourly rate is $300, more than likely you will end up with only $180 after they’ve taken their cut. 

All of the above (minus the pay cut) can easily regard to independent work, as well. The only difference is that it is more in your control than it is when with an agency. 

**This is bound to be edited more as I later come up with more ideas. Consider this a work in progress…

I’m also later going to branch into another post on agencies and interviews with them. 

Aphrodite Companions went under? Damn. I had no idea. They seemed so legit and had been in business for years.

Of course you also need to factor in the time you spend posting adverts, screening and making bookings.

The other advantage of agencies is that they are likely to have a large number of regular clients that they can introduce you to.

For many escorts it might be wise to start with an agency.

I already included all of that in the list for Independent.

But as for the info regarding regular clients, I definitely agree with you on that. That is definitely a plus that I will add on to the original post once I have time.

Do you have experience of having worked for an agency? If you have, then I would love to hear about some of your experience!

*Oops! I meant to post this on Escorting Safety, not my other blog.

When every girl finally makes the decision to become an escort, one of the very first things she must put into consideration is whether she wants to work independently (aka “indie”) or begin with an agency. 

I have often been asked what’s my take on this. Personally, I feel like independent is the safest and most beneficial route to go; unless the said girl is completely clueless as to how to properly screen and maintain her safety.

Independent:

  • This is when an escort works entirely on her own, with the exception of hiring a personal assistant and/or booker. This means…
  1. Obtaining own photographs
  2. Paying for own advertisements
  3. Setting up and managing own website
  4. Reading emails from clients
  5. Screening clients
  6. Arranging bookings

Agency:

  • Just as most jobs entail being an employee for a company, as an escort working through an agency, you are their employee and they are your boss. You work the hours they provide you and take a percentage of your cut. 
  1. Agency covers expense of photographs
  2. Agency pays for advertisements
  3. Agency generally provides you a “page” or “profile” on their personal website
  4. Manages all of your bookings, which includes: reading emails, screening, and establishing dates.

For most, it seems as though an agency is a godsend. To me, that couldn’t be any further from the truth… Agencies are tricky. More often than not, pimps pose as agencies. Even if they are reputable, there can be instances where a screening isn’t thorough (or, sometimes no screening at all!), which can easily land you in the hands of a dangerous client, or even law enforcement. I’ve heard of agencies abusing their girls, manipulating them to avoid girls going indie (money loss on their ends), and abusing their power. 

All it takes is ONE girl to slip up to an undercover police officer and admit to prostitution, and that right there can immediately shut the entire agency down. As we’ve all witness with Aphrodite Companions (see here: http://www.cnbc.com/id/100935558) even the most reputable agencies can be shut down. It is rumored that it was one of the agency’s former workers that tipped off law enforcement after having been robbed by owners Melissa and Vincent Lombardo. 

Even Aphrodite Companions fooled me. They had a reputable website, an active Twitter account, were well-reviewed over the years, and promised their girls good money. So keep in mind that if even an agency as high up was capable of being busted, then any agency is at risk.

To top it off, keep in mind that escorting agencies are allowed to take as much as up to 40% of your earnings. That means, if your hourly rate is $300, more than likely you will end up with only $180 after they’ve taken their cut. 

All of the above (minus the pay cut) can easily regard to independent work, as well. The only difference is that it is more in your control than it is when with an agency. 

**This is bound to be edited more as I later come up with more ideas. Consider this a work in progress…

I’m also later going to branch into another post on agencies and interviews with them. 

Regarding WP:

It was brought to my attention that Wordpress will delete your website if discovered that you are using it for escorting. 

They have placed in their contract that they are not liable for anything that their users create on independent domains, and as far as I’m concerned, as long as you are not selling sex, there are no illegal acts that are being made. 

Considering that there are Themes specifically designed for escorting sites linked to Wordpress, I would have assumed that WP would have caught this by now and mentioned something about it. 

Whether or not this is true, beware that there is always a possibility that your content can be deleted forever. The risk is yours to take. 

You have been warned. Fools.

P.S. If there are any corrections that need to be made to this blog - REBLOG something so that I don’t have to retype it out. Only use the inbox for questions, please. It also makes it easier for everyone else. Once you reblog it with new info, others can easily see it directly from the posting’s notes. Danke danke danke. 

Creating a free website through Wordpress.

When I first set up a website, I discovered Wordpress through an article related to escorting & CSS website formatting. This is a basic format which allows for easier creation and navigation on personalized website.

For those who do not have money for a $600-$3,000 website, you can easily create a free site using the steps below.

  • Go to www.wordpress.com
  • Click on “Get started”. It will help you set up a profile. You’ll fill out your email address (use your escorting email - no other email, b/c it will come handy for a future reference…), name, and password. Directly after password, it wants you to choose a blog address, which is just like your tumblr address (yourURL.tumblr.com) except it would be like: yourURL.wordpress.com.

  • Just use the simple “Free” blog, and don’t upgrade.
  • Click on “Change your blog’s theme”
  • Pick out any theme you feel fit. This is the same exact thing as picking out a Theme here on Tumblr.
  • Continuing, you see in the top left corner, it says: Reader, Stats, My blog, Freshly pressed? Click on “My Blog” and then it will take you to your one blog. 
  • Underneath your blog name, it will say “1 Page”. Click on that.
  •  You see at the top where it says “Add new”? Add a few, and you can title them as “Photos”, “Donations”, and “Booking” or whatever other terms you want.
  1. Photos: this page will be for your photos (well, I had to explain it…)
  2. Donations: for your hourly rates
  3. Booking: this is where you will create and place a booking form.
  • Anytime you’d like, you can click on “Preview” and it will show you how your page is building up.
  • When you go back to your Photos page, edit it and click on “Add media” that’s under the box that says the title.
  • Click on “Create Gallery” on the left-hand side and then upload any photos you want on your escorting site. (Before you actually click “Insert Gallery” go to the right side and where it says Type: Thumbnail grid, you can change the style that the photos are placed into the site. My personal favorite is Tiled Mosaic.)

  • Then for your Booking page, go to edit that. Click on “Add Contact Form”
  • From there it’s up to you to fill that out the way you like. Each provider has a different form.
  • THIS is where using your escorting email comes in play. Once a client has filled out your booking form and hits “submit”, it sends all of the information from the form straight to your email. If you have an iPhone, connect your email to your phone so that the minute you receive an email, it pops up on your phone just like a text message. Voila!
  • Lastly, it’s only $26 to remove the “.wordpress” part out of the domain and just have it as a “.com”. Like, if you choose yourURL.wordpress.com, you can pay $26 and have it just as www.yourURL.com

This is only meant to be used as a temporary website. Use this as something to attach your advertisements to, so that your advertisements can be short, with all clients being directed to your website for an unlimited amount of photos, information, and rates. 

Once you have set aside enough money, feel free to consider a few different web designers to establish a professional site for a more permanent use. 

The most common web designer for escorts is Veda Designs (http://vedadesigns.net/). Pricing can be found at: http://vedadesigns.net/webdesign.php

Personally, my website is being designed through Upscale Art (http://www.upscaleart.com/).Semi-custom websites can start as low as just $300! Fully-custom designs range from $1,500-$3,000+. It simply depends on the package you get, as well as whether you choose to add flash design or not. 

I’m sure that there are many others, but these are the only two I am completely aware of. I know others go through escortdesign.com, but I am unsure of how to use the site. Feel free to ask around some other girls as to what they have used and how they like it. 

- Escorting Safety

You can always tell what type of client you're talking to by the way they initially contact you.

  • Hobbyist:

    Hello *insert name w/ lower case letter first letter"

  • Me:

    Hello, may I ask who I'm speaking with?

  • Hobbyist:

    Nate, I saw your adanEros

  • Me:

    How may I help you?

  • Hobbyist:

    lookin for a date

  • Me:

    Date? Time? Do you have any reviews?

  • Hobbyist:

    tonight at 8

  • Me:

    ...do you have any reviews?

  • Hobbyist:

    no

  • Me:

    I can't see you, take care!

  • ...Hobbyists words are exactly as messaged to me! In addition to this, it specifically states on my ad that all bookings require 24 hours in advance notice!

Money = Power?

(Source: http://www.callandresponse.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/iStock_000009517255XSmall.jpg)

In today’s society, one of the biggest misperceptions is that when a client pays for an escort’s hourly rate, he’s “buying” her. Every time I see this, I cringe.

MYTH: Clients spend money to buy control over an escort for the time that they are together.

TRUTH: Clients spend money to buy an escort’s time away from his/her personal life.

Clients who are new to the hobby or those who save their money for inexperienced escorts always seem to maintain this mindset. It’s frustrating when I end up dealing with one. As an escort, I get paid for my time. Once a client has stepped into my territory, has handed me the donation, and our session begins, I am the one in control. If I do not feel comfortable with something they are doing, I have the right to tell them to stop. They must respect me and my boundaries, and if they fail to comply, then the booking is immediately canceled, nonrefundable, and they may end up blacklisted depending on how major the offense was. 

Things that the donation does not cover:

  • Disrespect
  • Control
  • Power

Things that the donation does cover:

  • The amount of time that was paid for

Let’s say a client is really enjoying his time with the companion he has paid for, and suddenly he’s upset that she’s pointed out that the time is up.

"Isn’t she as upset as me that the time is over?"

"Is she a clock watcher?"

"How do I get her to spend a bit more time with me?"

I’ve dealt with this from experience and it’s frustrating for the clients, but it’s even MORE frustrating for the provider. Yes, we do like spending time with clients! Hello? -We’re about respect! As long as you respect us, we’ll book with you. If we’ve lasted through the entire booking with you, then that obviously means that you were doing something right. Just us booking with you in the first place should let you know that we’re just as happy to be in the appointment as you are.

But think about it, fair is only fair. If an exception is made for one, it has to be made for all. Quite frankly, allowing “just 15 more minutes” for each client we see would eventually add up to an additional hour or two that is not compensated for. And going back to my first statement - our time is money. 

If you’re upset that the appointment has come to an end, there are easily two things (one or both) that you can do. Ask the provider:

  • …if she has an additional hour to spare. If she says yes, then kindly ask if she’s open to extending the appointment one hour. If she agrees, then immediately provide her with the additional compensation.
  • …when she next has availability for a booking. Find a time that works for both of your schedules, and patiently (and eagerly!) wait for your next time together.

The ending of an appointment should never be uncomfortable. If you end up making the provider feel uncomfortable, then she may avoid booking with you in the future. If you truly enjoy the time you spend with one, then be respectful. However, if you do not feel as though it is fair to dish out hundreds of dollars to be “controlled” by an escort, then you may be in for a rude surprise. 

The more respect that a provider demands, the more professional and experienced it shows she is. 

- Escorting Safety

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